I’ve been a misfit of sorts my entire life and part of me struggled with my strong adaptive instinct to cater to others and expressing-manifesting my identity and authority.
I cared close to zero about professional sports, watching the news, knowing the personal lives of public figures, and celebrating holidays my entire life. I watch others get excited about them and feel happy for them, though puzzled why I didn’t feel the same way, and took a while to accept that I did not need to care.
Characters like Cecil Harvey, Tina Branford, Ayasato Mayoi, Future Rika, Mir/Jacqli, and music by Uematsu Nobuo and Kajiura Yuki are the ones that bring me my soul shivers.
I somehow survived undergrad, med school, and residency with attending little to the matters of the depths that called to me and even struggled with terms of religion, exoteric notions of cosmology-metaphysics-epistemology-ethics, and the meaning of a work/career. Furthermore I sabotaged my business endeavors by focusing too much on what I perceived others wanted at the expense of instilling what is authentic and important for me, which caused a continuing clash in my psyche, decisions, and actions.
The lesson I aim to learn and awaken to is that I cannot be concerned with everything because that just takes away from my purpose, vision, attention, and intention. In other words, trying to help everyone disables me from helping people that I can help.
So the plan is continually pay less attention to more so I can pay more attention to less, which is ultimately more. Acknowledging and accepting my misfit-ness is so refreshing and invigorating.
The game is uncommon sense.
The game is awakening.